Still eating healthier, ONE day at a time

I didn't post yesterday, because I read something on a friends page and it just kindof rattled me to the point of really questioning peoples definition of me. 
I won't quote what it said directly, but in short terms it said skinny is sexy and fat is gross.


I can assure you I am not gross.  And contrary to what some folks may think, big gals can be quite sexy... I may not like the way I look 100 percent of the time but when I feel damn sexy I show it.   I mean...I have seen a couple peoples statuses before and gotten offended.  I'll quote a few from memory

"Join our weight loss group so you won't be fat and miserable for the new year"
"I'd rather be skinny and sexy than fat and gross"
"Look that fat woman across the waiting room is going to break her chair"

Do me a favor.. If you feel the need to really validate yourself by calling someone fat, or talking about overweight people on your statuses, delete/block or remove me now.. Because this is getting into sensitive territory for me..as I am moody as all get out because I am not losing weight as fast as I'd like.
I ate a damn chocolate bar today. I feel miserable because I did. I had a momentary lapse of "I don't give a shit" attitude and I ate it.  It was really good and I automatically regretted doing it.  I'll lose weight..I just have to find out why I am so addicted to food... and choose to eat food when I get upset.

Yes. I've been upset. SHOCK.

Its no big deal. I tend to blow things out of proportion but it all boils down to "I wonder if they think I am good enough".  Yes. I wonder that. In life, and ESPECIALLY in photography.  In the world of "oh I can do that for cheaper than her" or "oh..I can do THAT gimme a camera" it's hard to prove myself.  And in the oh-so-fabulous world of momtographers in this area..backstabbing and poaching is a normal occurence.

Ha. I got out of high school and chose the most HIGH SCHOOL like profession in the world.  Catty women, backstabbers, manipulators and copycats.   Yay me!!

I haven't weighed since I stopped the advocare challenge.  Call me scared, stupid, or just plain idiotic but I am afraid to weigh myself.  I still haven't had a soft drink...but I haven't been ingesting a gallon of water a day. My tap water basically has things floating in it, and bottled water can get pricey when there are 3 other people drinking it too (I won't have cokes in this house..too much temptation).  But NO.  I haven't quit my blog..just won't be a daily thing.