New Year, New Blog, New start!~

 Well. I can honestly say that 2012 was wonderful.  I got married to my best friend, had a wonderful PERFECT wedding (well, everything except the cake..more on that later), I quit smoking and I had a wonderfully busy year with my photography business.

Yes. I quit smoking. Ten whole months ago I put down the "coffin nails, cancer sticks" etc. and said goodbye to smelling like an ashtray and being a slave to nicotine. I thought that this was the perfect year.. until a few days after christmas I was sitting watching tv with my kids and my heart began beating SO HARD in my chest..it scared me. I couldn't get it to stop beating so hard. 

It scared me.

Being a self employed individual means absolutely NO health benefits. My husbands insurance at his work is pitiful to say the least so there is really no need in even attempting to add myself to that...so I must self diagnose, and stay away from sick people. ALOT.
I began talking to a few friends of mine, who have been with Advocare for a few months. The results I have seen from so many people are amazing! Now most of the results I have seen are people who aren't MORBIDLY OBESE like myself...but it intrigued me.  If it can help those ladies shed off a few lbs..maybe it can help me change my life??
So. I get all the info, and get the challenge :D I am SUPER STOKED. Upon reading the mass of information that comes with the challenge, I see that I must weigh..and measure myself...

I must WEIGH AND MEASURE MYSELF.

I do not own a scale. Or a measuring tape long enough to go around me!!

I begin to get pretty psyched out and not wanting to go forward with it anymore. I've dieted many times and I have always based my progress on my...clothes.  Well... all of my clothes are big and loose now so I knew I had to go through with it.

I go and buy a scale that goes up to 350 and get home.  Joe helps me and we measure *gasp* and then time for the good ole scale.  I strip down to my skivvies, and step on.  The little dial goes in circles on the screen for what seems forever and I glance down and it says ERR.

I weigh ERR.

Immediately the tears come, and I want to run and hide.  But I knew I wasn't THAT big...so I stepped off and on a couple of times and finally  a weight appears.  But I wish it would have taken it back.  Now, I am not the kind of girl who tells ANYONE my weight..just because I have always been the big chick who "doesn't look THAT big" or the "pretty in the face" girl.

~inhales~

I weigh 335 pounds.

It is time.  Time for me to stop being a slave to food, and to overpriced UGLY plus sized clothes with Winnie the Pooh and flower prints.

I AM WOMAN!! I was ready to get started.  With my new found empowerment I went to the store and stocked up on all of the things I could get for my 24 day challenge. I had my meal plan layed out, all the waters I could get that day and was ready for the next morning.  YES!!  Joe and his brother wanted to go out to eat that night, for the birthday dinner so I thought, OK...we'll go out to eat and then tomorrow I'll start my challenge.  I put on my new knee high boots (special boots for larger ladies calf muscles..ie) and skinny jeans I had just bought for those boots (the most expensive jeans I have ever bought at $70) and my new shirt and we went to tuscaloosa to the shrimp basket.

My pants split while getting out of the car.


YES I SAID MY PANTS SPLIT AS I WAS GETTING OUT OF THE CAR.

Mortified wasn't the word.  Did I mention they were the only pair of jeans I own?


So. With my pants split and my extra long sweater in the back I went and ate my last fried/french fry laden heart clogging meal.

I hate I lost my skinny jeans to my big ass...but I'll order another pair..after my 24 day challenge :D