Monday, January 21, 2013
Day 15.....
Not real sure if it's because I don't feel good, or that I am super weak lately but I swear everything that I have had no problem doing, or eating these past few days all of the sudden became gross and makes me want to puke.
I knew I couldn't do this. Laying in bed last night I listened to my stomach growling again, after I had eaten TWO cuties (small tangelos) to try and make the hunger pains stop. I began to panic, doing the math in my head that I do not have enough spark, to last me the rest of this challenge.
You see...that's the crazy thing... this advocare is wonderful, if you have money. I was lucky enough to have someone help me get the stuff for the challenge, to go ahead and start it. Didn't think I would have to continue to purchase these things just to maintain... I don't see how I can successfully do this when I don't have a steady job..paycheck or anything coming in right now. Being a photographer is awesome and wonderful...as long as you don't depend on it to I dunno...SURVIVE.
Discouraged isn't even the word.
I had to gag my way through the 7 pills this morning. Drinking the meal replacement shake was pure torture and the thought of eating another salad and turkey burger right now makes me want to cry.
I am so fat, and morbidly obese I can't even change my life without burnout.
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS??
I feel horrible. I look even worse. I just hope this is being sick, or even the flu. I can't BE this hungry and survive. I can't sit there and smell food and want to cry because I can't even eat it.
why is this so hard for me?
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