Day 18...and day 17.can I erase those days??

Hi. My name is Shelly and I officially screwed up my challenge.

SLAP ME.

I've been sick, and didn't think much was wrong but obviously I had some type of staff infection because I was down with fever/vomiting/shakes the past couple of days.  All in which I stayed hydrated, but not to the caliber of a gallon a day, because of my inability to get up without getting dizzy.  I missed yesterdays lunch pills and meal replacement shake, and all of todays meds.  And...I caved and ate pizza hut last night.

It was thin crust...I know that doesn't make it any better and it was cheese pizza...no...doesn't make it any better I know.  I'm out of waters, out of groceries...and to make matters worse my husband pretty much totaled our car out this morning with another deer.

The car is a deer magnet.  I hit a deer in that same car, a week before our wedding.

I don't know what to do. I can't very well brown up deer meat and serve it in a bowl tonight...we are out of everything and the people who I so love the most aren't available to give me a lift to go to the store.

I ate pizza :( Just ate some tortilla chips for lunch bc I am out of food, and I can't drink another shake right now.

WHY IS EVERYTHING MAKING ME GAG?? I wonder if its just the smell of the stuff or the fact that i have been ingesting this stuff for 18 days.  I must finish.  I must push through...

Oh. My stomach hurts.  Badly. 

Kicking nicotine was easy compared to this.  WHY you ask?  Because I could just NOT buy cigarettes.   I HAVE to buy food.
This is so expensive I don't really know how I can do this.   I usually spend about sixty bucks a week on groceries for our family of 4.  Sad.  One income sucks.  This sacrifices alot.  Not alot of luxuries like chips and ice cream here.  You want to know what I've spent weekly trying to stay healthy? $175. 

Why is it so hard to stay healthy?  The shit is outrageously expensive.  Not to mention our store doesn't carry alternatives for pasta.  So driving 40 miles out of the way for those groceries is added expense.

Maybe I should just stop eating.