Thursday, January 31, 2013
Headaches, Backstabbers and Mardi Gras....
So lets leave out the fact that my head is pounding so hard right now I can barely focus on the computer screen...
Since I ran out of spark, I have had continuous headaches (even though I haven't had ANY sugar at all or sodas) and I don't like that feeling. I don't like waking up to a headache...enduring a headache during the day and then going to bed because I have a headache. THIS SUCKS.
Just got through watching the last episode of season 6 of army wives. I love that show...FINALES always suck major if you ask me but this one...really pissed me off!! Kill off all the main characters on the show??? WTH??
OK..lost myself a bit there. Back to reality. I still have a few photos left to edit up from the sessions this past weekend, and if weather doesn't act like a douche I should have two sessions this weekend. Then it's off to
MARDI GRAS BABY!!!!!!!!
I may never return.
Leave out the fact that I've been stabbed in the back by yet ANOTHER fake fairweather "friend" its just been a helluva past couple months. Flanked by poaching "fauxtographers" attempting to snatch clients from me its just been down right peachy.
I'm kidding. NOT.
Some people should really stick to their jobs of being nosy assholes and watch their soap operas and stay out of my life. Gah. I needed to get that off my chest.
8 days till we leave. I haven't eaten anything today yet, but that's mainly bc I need to go to the store..so that may be where my headache has spurred from, that and crying nonstop yesterday. I've just been moody. Nah that's an understatement really. I've been downright evil. But that's only bc I've tried to be a good friend to people, and listened about their screwed up home lives, money problems, etc and then when that person/people are done with me it's like "oh I'll just delete her" or "I'll just stop returning texts and phonecalls"
Fuck it. I am done with that shit. If someone really wants to be a friend, they will be.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Still eating healthier, ONE day at a time
I didn't post yesterday, because I read something on a friends page and it just kindof rattled me to the point of really questioning peoples definition of me.
I won't quote what it said directly, but in short terms it said skinny is sexy and fat is gross.
I can assure you I am not gross. And contrary to what some folks may think, big gals can be quite sexy... I may not like the way I look 100 percent of the time but when I feel damn sexy I show it. I mean...I have seen a couple peoples statuses before and gotten offended. I'll quote a few from memory
"Join our weight loss group so you won't be fat and miserable for the new year"
"I'd rather be skinny and sexy than fat and gross"
"Look that fat woman across the waiting room is going to break her chair"
Do me a favor.. If you feel the need to really validate yourself by calling someone fat, or talking about overweight people on your statuses, delete/block or remove me now.. Because this is getting into sensitive territory for me..as I am moody as all get out because I am not losing weight as fast as I'd like.
I ate a damn chocolate bar today. I feel miserable because I did. I had a momentary lapse of "I don't give a shit" attitude and I ate it. It was really good and I automatically regretted doing it. I'll lose weight..I just have to find out why I am so addicted to food... and choose to eat food when I get upset.
Yes. I've been upset. SHOCK.
Its no big deal. I tend to blow things out of proportion but it all boils down to "I wonder if they think I am good enough". Yes. I wonder that. In life, and ESPECIALLY in photography. In the world of "oh I can do that for cheaper than her" or "oh..I can do THAT gimme a camera" it's hard to prove myself. And in the oh-so-fabulous world of momtographers in this area..backstabbing and poaching is a normal occurence.
Ha. I got out of high school and chose the most HIGH SCHOOL like profession in the world. Catty women, backstabbers, manipulators and copycats. Yay me!!
I haven't weighed since I stopped the advocare challenge. Call me scared, stupid, or just plain idiotic but I am afraid to weigh myself. I still haven't had a soft drink...but I haven't been ingesting a gallon of water a day. My tap water basically has things floating in it, and bottled water can get pricey when there are 3 other people drinking it too (I won't have cokes in this house..too much temptation). But NO. I haven't quit my blog..just won't be a daily thing.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
I reckon I'll refrain from naming this post what I wanted to.....
I guess I've lost my mojo....
In photography I'm doing well as can be limited by my lack of adequate equipment...but in LIFE I have lost my mojo.
I guess it took seeing someone call another person "fat" and that person wasn't even close to the definition of fat...to notice that no matter what I do, how successful I try to become, no matter how many hoops, loops and obstacles I jump through I will always be the fat girl. The photographer in vernon..you know the fat one...
That fat woman who carries a camera to all the games...yeah her...
That big chick who is always at her kids band practices...yeah that's who I'm talking about..
I will never be anything other than what some close minded people see.
Yesterday, I had a couple sessions, and at one of them we were at a park. I had to lay down on the ground and get photos at eye level (bc I like closeups..) and I noticed someone that had walked by and laughed pointing at me. No..not the baby covered in cake and happy as can be...ME. The fat chick laying on the ground doing whatever it took to get the shot. You see...that's the thing. I have a horrible condition in my knee called Osteoarthritis, because I injured my knee several years ago working, and never had it repaired. I have whittled away at the cartliage in my knee due to my obesity and now my right knee is bone, on bone. It hurts. Every day it hurts...squatting, kneeling, walking, running are a few of the things that I struggle to do every single day. Sad really. I'm 34 years old and falling apart. But the point of my story is...people don't care that you are a good person if they don't KNOW you...all they see is the exterior.
I try and dress nice. It's hard. You know how much an average pair of jeans costs a plus size gal? $90. Yes. Lane Bryant, Torrid...all jeans average that price. Walmart has pants, that are elastic wasted horrible jeans that I could never even think of wearing...but its very expensive. I can't afford to even give myself an adequate wardrobe bc of all the extra fabric needed.
I have all but given up on the advocare supplements. I'll keep them around and use the last few shakes as needed, and the appetite suppresant pills will come in handy. I've just come to the conclusion that it's all in what I eat...and being active. Its very hard for me to work out...bc of my knee but I am going to start walking with my kids at the park if they will be seen with me and once I get strong enough to be seen in public working out, I may go back to zumba. Lord knows I don't want to be "the fat chick in the back" of the workout studio. I guess I'll have to get over the fact that people are always going to notice that about me.
You know something else about me?
I sing. I am a classically trained singer, who studied in college for music education and vocal music double major. I love to sing. My dream was to go to nashville. I tried out for our college group "campus country" and I was told I didn't have the image for nashville. Then he picked the pretty, thin bleach blonde that had performed faith hill after me...to be in the group. I know I'll never "make it" in the music business...but that's the thing... he stopped me 30 seconds into my number. 30 seconds. Woulda coulda shoulda I guess but there are so many things about me that people don't even give me the chance..bc of my obesity.
I'll lose the weight. Just won't be the way I thought. But I am on day 21 of the challenge, and I have officially given up...but I haven't had a soft drink or sugar in 21 days. So this did help me accomplish something. I read labels now... I count calories now. I'm more aware of healthy foods now. So it has changed my life. Just not in the obvious way that I thought.
Friday, January 25, 2013
One day, it'll be me...
Something is making me very very sick, and it has me extremely upset. I will attempt to finish the challenge.. I have to...to show my kids that I stick to something when I start it but I swear...if I take another pill I'm going to puke.
Between the advo pills, and the antibiotics, the antihistamine and bc pill i ingest enough pills to be a pharmacy.
My jeans, well capri pants that are a size 24 (a tight 24 I may add) went on last night with ease, and they didn't strangle me when I sat down :) Why capri pants in the winter you ask?
Because the pants I bought from Torrid 3 weeks ago fall off me after about 15 minutes :) That's good..and bad. Now I have NO pants to wear!!
Mardi Gras trip 2013 is coming in 14 days. OMG. Two weeks from today I will be standing in the french quarter elbowing skinny girls for their loot :D
Day 19 is a gloomy day. Going to have to say goodbye to our car soon I am sure. Joe smacked ANOTHER deer yesterday morning and the car is desperately hanging on by a thread. He's such a Mr. Fixit and I am sure he'll attempt to fix the car on his own...but it may drive me crazy in the process.
Gonna finish my 2 bottles of water and get caught up on some housework. Feeling a little better today.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Day 18...and day 17.can I erase those days??
Hi. My name is Shelly and I officially screwed up my challenge.
SLAP ME.
I've been sick, and didn't think much was wrong but obviously I had some type of staff infection because I was down with fever/vomiting/shakes the past couple of days. All in which I stayed hydrated, but not to the caliber of a gallon a day, because of my inability to get up without getting dizzy. I missed yesterdays lunch pills and meal replacement shake, and all of todays meds. And...I caved and ate pizza hut last night.
It was thin crust...I know that doesn't make it any better and it was cheese pizza...no...doesn't make it any better I know. I'm out of waters, out of groceries...and to make matters worse my husband pretty much totaled our car out this morning with another deer.
The car is a deer magnet. I hit a deer in that same car, a week before our wedding.
I don't know what to do. I can't very well brown up deer meat and serve it in a bowl tonight...we are out of everything and the people who I so love the most aren't available to give me a lift to go to the store.
I ate pizza :( Just ate some tortilla chips for lunch bc I am out of food, and I can't drink another shake right now.
WHY IS EVERYTHING MAKING ME GAG?? I wonder if its just the smell of the stuff or the fact that i have been ingesting this stuff for 18 days. I must finish. I must push through...
Oh. My stomach hurts. Badly.
Kicking nicotine was easy compared to this. WHY you ask? Because I could just NOT buy cigarettes. I HAVE to buy food.
This is so expensive I don't really know how I can do this. I usually spend about sixty bucks a week on groceries for our family of 4. Sad. One income sucks. This sacrifices alot. Not alot of luxuries like chips and ice cream here. You want to know what I've spent weekly trying to stay healthy? $175.
Why is it so hard to stay healthy? The shit is outrageously expensive. Not to mention our store doesn't carry alternatives for pasta. So driving 40 miles out of the way for those groceries is added expense.
Maybe I should just stop eating.
SLAP ME.
I've been sick, and didn't think much was wrong but obviously I had some type of staff infection because I was down with fever/vomiting/shakes the past couple of days. All in which I stayed hydrated, but not to the caliber of a gallon a day, because of my inability to get up without getting dizzy. I missed yesterdays lunch pills and meal replacement shake, and all of todays meds. And...I caved and ate pizza hut last night.
It was thin crust...I know that doesn't make it any better and it was cheese pizza...no...doesn't make it any better I know. I'm out of waters, out of groceries...and to make matters worse my husband pretty much totaled our car out this morning with another deer.
The car is a deer magnet. I hit a deer in that same car, a week before our wedding.
I don't know what to do. I can't very well brown up deer meat and serve it in a bowl tonight...we are out of everything and the people who I so love the most aren't available to give me a lift to go to the store.
I ate pizza :( Just ate some tortilla chips for lunch bc I am out of food, and I can't drink another shake right now.
WHY IS EVERYTHING MAKING ME GAG?? I wonder if its just the smell of the stuff or the fact that i have been ingesting this stuff for 18 days. I must finish. I must push through...
Oh. My stomach hurts. Badly.
Kicking nicotine was easy compared to this. WHY you ask? Because I could just NOT buy cigarettes. I HAVE to buy food.
This is so expensive I don't really know how I can do this. I usually spend about sixty bucks a week on groceries for our family of 4. Sad. One income sucks. This sacrifices alot. Not alot of luxuries like chips and ice cream here. You want to know what I've spent weekly trying to stay healthy? $175.
Why is it so hard to stay healthy? The shit is outrageously expensive. Not to mention our store doesn't carry alternatives for pasta. So driving 40 miles out of the way for those groceries is added expense.
Maybe I should just stop eating.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Day 16, attack of the sickness....
Day 16 was met with feeling pretty bad, and not leaving the bed all day yesterday.
Except to eat...and that was a massive fail..
I messed up yesterday morning and weighed, because I had felt particularly optimistic, and wanted to log my progress. Yeah, that didn't work out the way I had planned.
Gained a pound. Maybe it was water weight? I'll keep telling myself that...
So yesterday morning I limped my way into the kitchen, and proceeded to mix up my spark, and take my prebreakfast pill packet. I dropped two of the pills and they went right into the air vent, and then I spilled majority of the spark powder all over the table.
Yeah, it was going to be a bad day. Did I mention all of this happened about 10 am? Yeah...late start indeed but at least I was attempting to get on track. The day didn't get any better after that so I proceeded to go lay down, and watch Army Wives on netflix.
Oh. My. That show is so SAD!!!!!!!!!! But I am hooked. Maybe I can do some jumping jacks or something while I watch it...it has me glued to the tv.
Afternoon time comes and I figure I better eatsomething. SO I go to get up, and the diziness takes me down. So I ate some hamburger helper with deer meat leftover from the night before that I had made for the family. IT was heavenly.. and so illegal on this challenge. The noodles... so good and so bad.
Fever strikes around 3 and it totally has me drained and confined to the bed....and doubt sets in. I made myself get up and make dinner (rotel mexican chicken) It was yummy. I just made a part for me that didn't contain cheese, or the chips. I totally think I overdosed on antibiotics yesterday bc I actually feel alot better today, and there has been no fever. My pride was hurt yesterday a bit but I am back on track today...
Just as soon as I finish this episode of army wives.....
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Don't weigh until day 24...
Yeah that shut didn't work out.
I weighed today.
Gained a pound? I think this digital scale is a bitch.
So I ate hamburger helper for lunch a) because I had fever and let's face it nobody is gonna bring me soup and b) I couldn't stand long enough to cook.
Defeated? No
Pissed? Yessir
I weighed today.
Gained a pound? I think this digital scale is a bitch.
So I ate hamburger helper for lunch a) because I had fever and let's face it nobody is gonna bring me soup and b) I couldn't stand long enough to cook.
Defeated? No
Pissed? Yessir
Day 15 was a doozy.....
Waking up feeling like doodoo didn't help any yesterday. The attitude that followed made me thankful for my army wives marathon.
Stupidity. Seems like I am slammed in the face constantly with it. That, and getting stabbed in the back by people who pretend to be friends. I was good, didn't cheat on the challenge and continue to feel horrible today. Didn't get any sleep last night. Was in alot of pain.
Not real spunky today... I'm sure I will perk up sooner or later but I think I need a long nap....
Stupidity. Seems like I am slammed in the face constantly with it. That, and getting stabbed in the back by people who pretend to be friends. I was good, didn't cheat on the challenge and continue to feel horrible today. Didn't get any sleep last night. Was in alot of pain.
Not real spunky today... I'm sure I will perk up sooner or later but I think I need a long nap....
Monday, January 21, 2013
Day 15.....
Not real sure if it's because I don't feel good, or that I am super weak lately but I swear everything that I have had no problem doing, or eating these past few days all of the sudden became gross and makes me want to puke.
I knew I couldn't do this. Laying in bed last night I listened to my stomach growling again, after I had eaten TWO cuties (small tangelos) to try and make the hunger pains stop. I began to panic, doing the math in my head that I do not have enough spark, to last me the rest of this challenge.
You see...that's the crazy thing... this advocare is wonderful, if you have money. I was lucky enough to have someone help me get the stuff for the challenge, to go ahead and start it. Didn't think I would have to continue to purchase these things just to maintain... I don't see how I can successfully do this when I don't have a steady job..paycheck or anything coming in right now. Being a photographer is awesome and wonderful...as long as you don't depend on it to I dunno...SURVIVE.
Discouraged isn't even the word.
I had to gag my way through the 7 pills this morning. Drinking the meal replacement shake was pure torture and the thought of eating another salad and turkey burger right now makes me want to cry.
I am so fat, and morbidly obese I can't even change my life without burnout.
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS??
I feel horrible. I look even worse. I just hope this is being sick, or even the flu. I can't BE this hungry and survive. I can't sit there and smell food and want to cry because I can't even eat it.
why is this so hard for me?
Sunday, January 20, 2013
I seriously don't remember what day I'm on...14? 15?
The hubby is messing with my computer this morning so I am blogging from my mobile app. Yay for tiny typing.
I think I'm on day 14. Or 15. Ill just go until I run out of pills and shakes :).
I didn't overdose on pickles last night or snack with joe. I was good and ate my piece of fruit ( ate a tangelo) and went to bed stomach a growling again.
Went grocery shopping at Walmart yesterday and stocked up for a week.
Me being a fat chick I do have my favorite foods. One of my favorites was Philly cheesesteak pizza from Walmart. I had it once and it disappeared. For months I looked at the fresh pizzas to see if it was there and nothing.
Guess what was in the deli case yesterday. Yep. I laughed, cursed and then walked away from it.
Relearning and deprigramming is hard. I still get mad and in my brain I will say "screw this, ill just eat some fries". But then i remember I beat nicotine almost 11 months ago. I can do this!!
Was almost derailed yesterday. Joe was hungry after Walmart and he said "you've done good just eat a dollar burger". I was dizzy and hungry after shopping and didn't have access to anything to snack on. He drove to Wendy's and I had already decided I was going to get a side salad and the kids copped an attitude and said they weren't hungry. Lol. Victory!! Thanks to mouthy teenagers we went home :)
Had taco salad again last night. I did good. Feeling good today and ready for photo sessions today :)
I think I'm on day 14. Or 15. Ill just go until I run out of pills and shakes :).
I didn't overdose on pickles last night or snack with joe. I was good and ate my piece of fruit ( ate a tangelo) and went to bed stomach a growling again.
Went grocery shopping at Walmart yesterday and stocked up for a week.
Me being a fat chick I do have my favorite foods. One of my favorites was Philly cheesesteak pizza from Walmart. I had it once and it disappeared. For months I looked at the fresh pizzas to see if it was there and nothing.
Guess what was in the deli case yesterday. Yep. I laughed, cursed and then walked away from it.
Relearning and deprigramming is hard. I still get mad and in my brain I will say "screw this, ill just eat some fries". But then i remember I beat nicotine almost 11 months ago. I can do this!!
Was almost derailed yesterday. Joe was hungry after Walmart and he said "you've done good just eat a dollar burger". I was dizzy and hungry after shopping and didn't have access to anything to snack on. He drove to Wendy's and I had already decided I was going to get a side salad and the kids copped an attitude and said they weren't hungry. Lol. Victory!! Thanks to mouthy teenagers we went home :)
Had taco salad again last night. I did good. Feeling good today and ready for photo sessions today :)
Saturday, January 19, 2013
What day is this again??
Being on this challenge isn't hard. It's making breakfast for your family when you have to take a meal replacement shake that is a real bitch.
I think I overdosed on pickles last night.
The attack of the munchies hit be about 8:00 last night when I was waiting for my child to get home from her honor band. We all had dinner. Joe and Michaela ate tacos with beef and soft tortillas and I had ground turkey in taco seasonings, topped with my lime cilantro rotel, a tiny bit of the brown wild rice and lettuce and a couple grape tomatoes.
Oh wow that was wonderful.
30 minutes later, my stomach was growling. WTH???
My paper says "evening snack" can be a piece of fruit. So. I ate a banana.
This is what my stomach sounds like, AND my mood I've been in lately.
So. Joe and Michaela had vanilla ice cream. I ate a banana. Then joe comes waltzing in the room eating one of MY bananas too. (insert mean bear growl here).
25 minutes later, joe wants popcorn.
Ass. Oh btw, he's lost 5 pounds. Turd.
So while he is munching on his buttery, yummy, salted wonderful smelling popcorn (yes, this is torture I love popcorn) I am snacking on a pickle.
All the while my stomach is still growling. WHILE I am eating. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?!?
So I ate another damn pickle and called it a night. I was closing the kitchen bc I was afraid I'd attack the peanuts, or almonds. I know I don't have to get full, but man at the growling stomach. Its enough to drive one person INSANE!!
Day 14 and I am typing to you guys and drinking the meal replacement shake. Don't really know what's in store today but I do know it's not going to involve two lunches or two dinners!!
Have a great day guys!! I need more pickles :D
I think I overdosed on pickles last night.
The attack of the munchies hit be about 8:00 last night when I was waiting for my child to get home from her honor band. We all had dinner. Joe and Michaela ate tacos with beef and soft tortillas and I had ground turkey in taco seasonings, topped with my lime cilantro rotel, a tiny bit of the brown wild rice and lettuce and a couple grape tomatoes.
Oh wow that was wonderful.
30 minutes later, my stomach was growling. WTH???
My paper says "evening snack" can be a piece of fruit. So. I ate a banana.
This is what my stomach sounds like, AND my mood I've been in lately.
So. Joe and Michaela had vanilla ice cream. I ate a banana. Then joe comes waltzing in the room eating one of MY bananas too. (insert mean bear growl here).
25 minutes later, joe wants popcorn.
Ass. Oh btw, he's lost 5 pounds. Turd.
So while he is munching on his buttery, yummy, salted wonderful smelling popcorn (yes, this is torture I love popcorn) I am snacking on a pickle.
All the while my stomach is still growling. WHILE I am eating. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!?!?
So I ate another damn pickle and called it a night. I was closing the kitchen bc I was afraid I'd attack the peanuts, or almonds. I know I don't have to get full, but man at the growling stomach. Its enough to drive one person INSANE!!
Day 14 and I am typing to you guys and drinking the meal replacement shake. Don't really know what's in store today but I do know it's not going to involve two lunches or two dinners!!
Have a great day guys!! I need more pickles :D
Friday, January 18, 2013
Hungry and mean...
Ok. So these pills. They say they are supposed to be appetite suppressants? Holy shit I am starving.
Not just " oh I'm a little hungry" it's like "I wonder if I can get away with eating two chicken breasts" hungry. I went to bed again last night with my stomach growling away at me.
I made myself sautéed shrimp, brown wild rice and a salad. The brown wild rice was uh...hard. Is it supposed to be that way? I cooked it for the 40 minutes it said.... Anywho. I ended up not eating much of the rice because it was nasty to me. Crap. I was excited. When zararains has something I can eat its usually good.
Lunch yesterday consisted of a turkey burger patty and a salad and 3 strawberries. Snacks were cashews as usual.
The girls and I worked out around 3 and my arms were really getting sore so I stopped after about 20 minutes. Call me stupid or whatever but I'm not going to hurt myself dancing to a damn wii game.
As I sit here about to mix up my meal replacement breakfast shake (way late...school delayed) i listen to the angry bear sounds again in my stomach.
Oh. Tmi maybe for a second but I swear I can't go anywhere without having to go teetee!! I guess it's the drinking of a gallon of water a day or my body freaking out bc it's never ingested this much water EVER but I thought I was going to DIE in town earlier bc I couldn't go to the bathroom anywhere.
No. I won't go use the bathroom at McDonald's for obvious reasons.
Yes. The food dreams have returned. I dreamed last night I ate macaroni when. The family did and I cried in my dream. Ha. That's kind of funny.
Day 13 :) I'm still standing and mean as all get out. :D
Not just " oh I'm a little hungry" it's like "I wonder if I can get away with eating two chicken breasts" hungry. I went to bed again last night with my stomach growling away at me.
I made myself sautéed shrimp, brown wild rice and a salad. The brown wild rice was uh...hard. Is it supposed to be that way? I cooked it for the 40 minutes it said.... Anywho. I ended up not eating much of the rice because it was nasty to me. Crap. I was excited. When zararains has something I can eat its usually good.
Lunch yesterday consisted of a turkey burger patty and a salad and 3 strawberries. Snacks were cashews as usual.
The girls and I worked out around 3 and my arms were really getting sore so I stopped after about 20 minutes. Call me stupid or whatever but I'm not going to hurt myself dancing to a damn wii game.
As I sit here about to mix up my meal replacement breakfast shake (way late...school delayed) i listen to the angry bear sounds again in my stomach.
Oh. Tmi maybe for a second but I swear I can't go anywhere without having to go teetee!! I guess it's the drinking of a gallon of water a day or my body freaking out bc it's never ingested this much water EVER but I thought I was going to DIE in town earlier bc I couldn't go to the bathroom anywhere.
No. I won't go use the bathroom at McDonald's for obvious reasons.
Yes. The food dreams have returned. I dreamed last night I ate macaroni when. The family did and I cried in my dream. Ha. That's kind of funny.
Day 13 :) I'm still standing and mean as all get out. :D
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Snow day!!!
Day 12 is here :) 12 more days to go!
Yesterday was definitely different. I was hungry. Like...ravenous hungry. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but to be hungry when you go to bed...is not cool. Maybe I'm doing my portions too small??
Meal replacement shake. Yeah.
Chocolate mocha. You are mocha-ey.
It took me 15 minutes to drink it. Needless to say I couldn't wait for my snack later.
Lunch consisted of a salad and shredded chicken thigh on top and a spoonful of lime cilantro rotel chiles. Yum!!! It was so good I did the same for supper but added a tiny spoon if brown rice. :). I went straight for the cashews for my nighttime snack and then remembered I was supposed to eat fruit!!! Crap!!!!! So I aye a banana.
I was still hungry. So I drank two bottles of water and went to sleep.
The pills were definately something to get used to. There is 7 pills in the morning before breakfast and 5 pills with breakfast, and then 4 at lunch. Can you say OMG??!!?!
Oh. And 3 at dinner. Sheesh. I'm full of water from taking those pills!!
Day 12 awoke to snow falling from the sky and my stomach growling like a mean angry bear. Downed my first round of pills and spark, ready for the day!! Then they cancel school. Snow day! So I make my meal replacement shake, added some ice to the blender and it was a vast improvement.
Have a great day guys :) I'm gonna go throw some snowballs around before all this melts :)))
Feelin fine and at the halfway point!!
Yesterday was definitely different. I was hungry. Like...ravenous hungry. I don't know what I'm doing wrong but to be hungry when you go to bed...is not cool. Maybe I'm doing my portions too small??
Meal replacement shake. Yeah.
Chocolate mocha. You are mocha-ey.
It took me 15 minutes to drink it. Needless to say I couldn't wait for my snack later.
Lunch consisted of a salad and shredded chicken thigh on top and a spoonful of lime cilantro rotel chiles. Yum!!! It was so good I did the same for supper but added a tiny spoon if brown rice. :). I went straight for the cashews for my nighttime snack and then remembered I was supposed to eat fruit!!! Crap!!!!! So I aye a banana.
I was still hungry. So I drank two bottles of water and went to sleep.
The pills were definately something to get used to. There is 7 pills in the morning before breakfast and 5 pills with breakfast, and then 4 at lunch. Can you say OMG??!!?!
Oh. And 3 at dinner. Sheesh. I'm full of water from taking those pills!!
Day 12 awoke to snow falling from the sky and my stomach growling like a mean angry bear. Downed my first round of pills and spark, ready for the day!! Then they cancel school. Snow day! So I make my meal replacement shake, added some ice to the blender and it was a vast improvement.
Have a great day guys :) I'm gonna go throw some snowballs around before all this melts :)))
Feelin fine and at the halfway point!!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Holy sideways PILLS BATMAN!!!
Good morning!!
It's day 11 Hooraayyyyyy!!!! I think I misspelled that. And that too. Eh. WOOHOO I made it through the cleanse phase!!
I knew I had to weigh this morning, so last night I went to bed at a normal time, and prepared to get up and look at a scale first thing in the morning. I didn't think I would wake up at 4:30 ready to weigh in. I tried to lay back in bed and wait until a more suitable hour, like so 9ish? Ha. Nope. My brain knew that I needed to weigh and I couldn't get that out of my head.
Ahem.
I have lost 8 pounds.
How could such a small little number make me so happy? Go pick up something that weighs 8 pounds. :) That's how much I have lost baby!!!!
I told Joe to weigh this morning, and he laughed and walked out of the room. He's been struggling during this transition time. Last night I made chicken thighs, cooked in the crock pot all day, and chicken rice (for them) and peas. I made him a good size plate but I guess he's just as used to the carbs and starches as I was. He was still hungry so he proceeded to eat one of my bananas, and then sit in bed and eat snack size snickers next to me. Guess what?!?!
I didn't beat him to death!! Yay me for not wanting chocolate!!
I took a chicken thigh, deboned and removed the skin, shredded it, and added a spoon full of lime cilantro chile rotel (straight from the can) and a tiny MINUTE amount of brown rice and stirred it all up. Yes. It was good...sinfully good. Or maybe that's because I am so desperate to eat something close to flavorful I consider it wonderful. I don't know but my body is getting used to this whole eating healthy thing and I am ready to try new things!!
Oh. I didn't eat any peas. Bad Shelly. I couldn't. I just couldn't. They smelled like FEET!!! Yeah, I know I sound like an 8 year old but my nose is super duper sensitive since I quit smoking ten months ago.
I did two workouts yesterday and I could barely life my arms by the time I was done with the second workout. Thank goodness I am in the privacy of my own home because I look pathetic trying to do some of these dance moves. I mean, I'm a big gal, and I can wiggle with the best of em..but some of these moves on this wii game are kindof...jumpy...if that can be a good description. No support bra or HARNESS or anything could help keep all this "vagiggle gaggle" (HONEY BOO BOO REFERENCE)
still so I look completely ridiculous when dancing but hey!! Any movement is good movement when it comes to exercise.
RIGHT?
I took my first round of Max Phase pills already and am currently about to mix up my meal replacement shake for this morning. Can I say one thing?? Trying to take more than two pills will result in one of said pills lodging itself SIDEWAYS in your throat...
Chocolate Mocha. I shall let you all know if that is a good flavor or not. ;)
So I bid you all adieu for the morning. I may blog again later, or not...ya never know :)
Have a wonderful stupendous fantastically wonderful RAINY day guys. Maybe once the sun comes out I can actually go walking!! Until then I leave you with this image...
It's day 11 Hooraayyyyyy!!!! I think I misspelled that. And that too. Eh. WOOHOO I made it through the cleanse phase!!
I knew I had to weigh this morning, so last night I went to bed at a normal time, and prepared to get up and look at a scale first thing in the morning. I didn't think I would wake up at 4:30 ready to weigh in. I tried to lay back in bed and wait until a more suitable hour, like so 9ish? Ha. Nope. My brain knew that I needed to weigh and I couldn't get that out of my head.
Ahem.
I have lost 8 pounds.
How could such a small little number make me so happy? Go pick up something that weighs 8 pounds. :) That's how much I have lost baby!!!!
I told Joe to weigh this morning, and he laughed and walked out of the room. He's been struggling during this transition time. Last night I made chicken thighs, cooked in the crock pot all day, and chicken rice (for them) and peas. I made him a good size plate but I guess he's just as used to the carbs and starches as I was. He was still hungry so he proceeded to eat one of my bananas, and then sit in bed and eat snack size snickers next to me. Guess what?!?!
I didn't beat him to death!! Yay me for not wanting chocolate!!
I took a chicken thigh, deboned and removed the skin, shredded it, and added a spoon full of lime cilantro chile rotel (straight from the can) and a tiny MINUTE amount of brown rice and stirred it all up. Yes. It was good...sinfully good. Or maybe that's because I am so desperate to eat something close to flavorful I consider it wonderful. I don't know but my body is getting used to this whole eating healthy thing and I am ready to try new things!!
Oh. I didn't eat any peas. Bad Shelly. I couldn't. I just couldn't. They smelled like FEET!!! Yeah, I know I sound like an 8 year old but my nose is super duper sensitive since I quit smoking ten months ago.
I did two workouts yesterday and I could barely life my arms by the time I was done with the second workout. Thank goodness I am in the privacy of my own home because I look pathetic trying to do some of these dance moves. I mean, I'm a big gal, and I can wiggle with the best of em..but some of these moves on this wii game are kindof...jumpy...if that can be a good description. No support bra or HARNESS or anything could help keep all this "vagiggle gaggle" (HONEY BOO BOO REFERENCE)
still so I look completely ridiculous when dancing but hey!! Any movement is good movement when it comes to exercise.
RIGHT?
I took my first round of Max Phase pills already and am currently about to mix up my meal replacement shake for this morning. Can I say one thing?? Trying to take more than two pills will result in one of said pills lodging itself SIDEWAYS in your throat...
Chocolate Mocha. I shall let you all know if that is a good flavor or not. ;)
So I bid you all adieu for the morning. I may blog again later, or not...ya never know :)
Have a wonderful stupendous fantastically wonderful RAINY day guys. Maybe once the sun comes out I can actually go walking!! Until then I leave you with this image...
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Not a salesperson by any means...
If some people think what I am doing is a joke, you are wrong. If my struggle is something to mock or make fun of I can surely show you where the x button is. I am getting healthy for ME. Yes. Advocare is somewhat drastic. Yes advocare is expensive. It's a helluva lot cheaper than gastric bypass an other surgeries so pardon me if I try anything I can to lose weight just short of going under the knife. I am not doing this to make money. I am doing this so I can walk a mile and be able to breathe. I'm doing this so I won't have a heart attack before I am 40. I am doing this for LIFE not profitable gain. So don't take my efforts lightly. If I blog, bitch, gripe and cry I do it because I am struggling. Learning how to be healthy when you have never known how is an enormous struggle. Most of you don't understand.
Revenge of the two dinners.
Day 10 is here!! I made it through the cleanse and I am about to drink my last fiber drink :)
Let's all gag in unison.
Nah. It wasn't that bad. It was kinda like drinking a super thick orange juice with pencil shavings ;) I kid. I kid.
This morning was met with delayed school times because its cold and raining. If there is possibility of ice on the road they postpone school so I drove my ladies to school this morning. Yup. McDonald's again. It's a once a week treat for my girls so I must keep my promise. Plus it gives us time to chat in the morning.
I actually kept my windows rolled up while they were eating :). Partially because it was raining but the temptation wasn't as strong. Until my child waived a piece of cheese in my face.
Oh man. Cheese. Those who know me, know that cheese is like a staple for me. Cheese on everything. So I laughed at her and rolled down her window. Hahahhaha. MOM my HAIR!!!! ( that'll teach her heehee)
Back to the topic. Yes. I made two dinners last night. ONLY because I had a thawed package of ground beef in the fridge and challenge or not I do not waste food. I will tell you this, ground beef stinks. Didn't realize it till now. Gag. I made them their "real" spaghetti since I had ruined their dinner from the night before (their words). My girls even had to visibly see the can of ragu, the "white" noodles, and specifically read GROUND BEEF on the package. Let's just say they didn't come up for air to breathe when eating it. Joe too. He was practically licking the bowl by the time I had made my turkey burger and salad. Anywho... Tonight I am making them chicken thighs and zararains rice. For myself I am making Sautéed SHRIMP in lime cilantro rotel. Odd creation yes. Heartburn? Yes. Yummy? YES. I'm having fun experimenting in the kitchen with this stuff. Maybe ill try salmon next....
Eh. Not likely.
Apart from feeling like a water retaining sea cow, and the cramps I feel wonderful. I have noticed that I am not as "swollen" hahah looking and my ring did go on without having to apply lotion to my hand first (previous blog). My kids ate up all of my emergency "I AM HUNGRY" pickles and I shall have to go to the store to stock up on those, until then...back to peanuts at snack time. I like pickles so much better. Tomorrow I get to weigh and see what my cleanse phase loss is, and then after that I can't weigh again until day 24. or is it day 25? Eh..either way I have to keep my butt OFF of the scale so I don't get discouraged. I know I shouildn't have weighed the other day but I was in such a mood..I was ready to descend upon McDonalds and get a french fry FOR REAL...
Feeling good on day 10 :D
Let's all gag in unison.
Nah. It wasn't that bad. It was kinda like drinking a super thick orange juice with pencil shavings ;) I kid. I kid.
This morning was met with delayed school times because its cold and raining. If there is possibility of ice on the road they postpone school so I drove my ladies to school this morning. Yup. McDonald's again. It's a once a week treat for my girls so I must keep my promise. Plus it gives us time to chat in the morning.
I actually kept my windows rolled up while they were eating :). Partially because it was raining but the temptation wasn't as strong. Until my child waived a piece of cheese in my face.
Oh man. Cheese. Those who know me, know that cheese is like a staple for me. Cheese on everything. So I laughed at her and rolled down her window. Hahahhaha. MOM my HAIR!!!! ( that'll teach her heehee)
Back to the topic. Yes. I made two dinners last night. ONLY because I had a thawed package of ground beef in the fridge and challenge or not I do not waste food. I will tell you this, ground beef stinks. Didn't realize it till now. Gag. I made them their "real" spaghetti since I had ruined their dinner from the night before (their words). My girls even had to visibly see the can of ragu, the "white" noodles, and specifically read GROUND BEEF on the package. Let's just say they didn't come up for air to breathe when eating it. Joe too. He was practically licking the bowl by the time I had made my turkey burger and salad. Anywho... Tonight I am making them chicken thighs and zararains rice. For myself I am making Sautéed SHRIMP in lime cilantro rotel. Odd creation yes. Heartburn? Yes. Yummy? YES. I'm having fun experimenting in the kitchen with this stuff. Maybe ill try salmon next....
Eh. Not likely.
Apart from feeling like a water retaining sea cow, and the cramps I feel wonderful. I have noticed that I am not as "swollen" hahah looking and my ring did go on without having to apply lotion to my hand first (previous blog). My kids ate up all of my emergency "I AM HUNGRY" pickles and I shall have to go to the store to stock up on those, until then...back to peanuts at snack time. I like pickles so much better. Tomorrow I get to weigh and see what my cleanse phase loss is, and then after that I can't weigh again until day 24. or is it day 25? Eh..either way I have to keep my butt OFF of the scale so I don't get discouraged. I know I shouildn't have weighed the other day but I was in such a mood..I was ready to descend upon McDonalds and get a french fry FOR REAL...
Feeling good on day 10 :D
Monday, January 14, 2013
I'm hungry dammit.
So nobody really prepares for what happens when you run out of the foods you cook day in and day out. Most people have a grocery list. I, wait until I am out if something and officially dying to have it before I will go to the store.
I am out of nuts. Shut up. Go ahead. Laugh. On this challenge I can have a piece of fruit or 1/4 cup of nuts. So I usually eat the almonds. I am out. I could cry but ill just eat a banana. Boring.
I haven't eaten lunch yet bc let's just admit it. I'm cramping and all I want right now is a heating pad a huge cup of cocoa and a chocolate bar.
And French fries. Yup. Fatty wants fries. Shit!!!!
Ok. Off to go make my turkey burger but a bit of news..
I have a gorgeous wedding ring. I love it. I love it so much I am afraid to wear it bc something might happen to it it's so gorgeous. When I got the set it was snug. Aw hell it was tight. I have had to put on lotion before i put on the ring since I got it in November 2011.
My ring went on today unassisted.
Hoorraaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!
That is all.
I am out of nuts. Shut up. Go ahead. Laugh. On this challenge I can have a piece of fruit or 1/4 cup of nuts. So I usually eat the almonds. I am out. I could cry but ill just eat a banana. Boring.
I haven't eaten lunch yet bc let's just admit it. I'm cramping and all I want right now is a heating pad a huge cup of cocoa and a chocolate bar.
And French fries. Yup. Fatty wants fries. Shit!!!!
Ok. Off to go make my turkey burger but a bit of news..
I have a gorgeous wedding ring. I love it. I love it so much I am afraid to wear it bc something might happen to it it's so gorgeous. When I got the set it was snug. Aw hell it was tight. I have had to put on lotion before i put on the ring since I got it in November 2011.
My ring went on today unassisted.
Hoorraaayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!
That is all.
Attack of the lazies...sunday rainy sunday
Sing it with me guys
"Blame it on the rain, yeah....yeah..."
Milli Vanilli would have been ashamed of me...
Yesterday was a no good kind of day. It started out like usual, breakfast, blog, cleaning up..and then all of the sudden the sky started getting darker, and darker...and my netflix drew me to the place in front of the TV and I never left (except to go cook for myself and the family)
Did it help I tried to do a few leg lifts while laying in bed watching "Sons of Guns" reruns??
I'll keep telling myself it'll count. Cleaning counts as cardio SHELLY!! (sheepishly grins)
I thought I was going to be brilliant and trick my family yesterday since they were ADAMANT on me making two seperate meals. I being the lazy bum I turned into yesterday, had already made two seperate breakfasts, two seperate lunches and by damn I wasn't about to do that for supper. So I took out the homemade italian gravy (sauce) I had made from friday night, and I began heating it up, and trying to mash down the chunks of tomato that hadn't reduced. I cooked up a package of ground turkey (the ONLY ONE I HAVE LEFT btw) and season it well, and then boil the crap out of the wheat pasta I had.
You see, if you boil the bejesus out of it...it turns white. and doesn't resemble cardboard. Yippee!
So it looked just like a normal pot of spaghetti with rotini noodles. The kids come up and make heaping bowls, and then begin to eat.
Michaela, actually ate at it for a few minutes...all while dumping crazy amounts of parmesan on it because "this sauce is nasty momma"
Caitlin...hahaha. She wasn't fooled. Not one bit. She's my picky eater and she took one nibble and said "this meat is not hamburger meat, this pasta tastes horrible and this sauce is nasty".
I was already done eating. (I measured 1 cup of the mixture and ate it)
So I wasn't going to argue with them, I admitted the changes to the spaghetti and they both got up and made themselves ramen noodles. All while making several comments about how "they don't wanna go on a diet just because I am".
WORD TO THE WISE...IT IS HARD TO CHANGE UP MEAL PLANS ON TEENAGERS.
Joe ate the dinner, but I was a tad bit heavy handed with the italian seasoning with cracked red pepper in it, so it was HOT. I got lectured on how I would have an ulcer before I'm 35 if I don't learn how to lay off the spicy stuff. ;) I love you joe. I'll make your food extra bland next time. :P'
So I'm logging in my meals, water etc on myfitnesspal app, and the calories from the wheat pasta and stuff was not very reassuring to me, but I know I didn't eat a full CUP of just the pasta (400 calories) I literally measured 1 cup of the meat/pasta/sauce already mixed up. So maybe I could sleep that night if I kept telling myself that. :( No workout was done...and I feel super guilty about it so I will be doing two workouts today.
Day 9 is here and it is raining and COLD now. So I shall once again have to keep myself occupied INSIDE. I need a treadmill, or a bicycle. Oh a bike would be awesome. I could watch tv and go long distances :D Well, I'm off to drink the fiber drink this morning. Have a good one!!
"Blame it on the rain, yeah....yeah..."
Milli Vanilli would have been ashamed of me...
Yesterday was a no good kind of day. It started out like usual, breakfast, blog, cleaning up..and then all of the sudden the sky started getting darker, and darker...and my netflix drew me to the place in front of the TV and I never left (except to go cook for myself and the family)
Did it help I tried to do a few leg lifts while laying in bed watching "Sons of Guns" reruns??
I'll keep telling myself it'll count. Cleaning counts as cardio SHELLY!! (sheepishly grins)
I thought I was going to be brilliant and trick my family yesterday since they were ADAMANT on me making two seperate meals. I being the lazy bum I turned into yesterday, had already made two seperate breakfasts, two seperate lunches and by damn I wasn't about to do that for supper. So I took out the homemade italian gravy (sauce) I had made from friday night, and I began heating it up, and trying to mash down the chunks of tomato that hadn't reduced. I cooked up a package of ground turkey (the ONLY ONE I HAVE LEFT btw) and season it well, and then boil the crap out of the wheat pasta I had.
You see, if you boil the bejesus out of it...it turns white. and doesn't resemble cardboard. Yippee!
So it looked just like a normal pot of spaghetti with rotini noodles. The kids come up and make heaping bowls, and then begin to eat.
Michaela, actually ate at it for a few minutes...all while dumping crazy amounts of parmesan on it because "this sauce is nasty momma"
Caitlin...hahaha. She wasn't fooled. Not one bit. She's my picky eater and she took one nibble and said "this meat is not hamburger meat, this pasta tastes horrible and this sauce is nasty".
I was already done eating. (I measured 1 cup of the mixture and ate it)
So I wasn't going to argue with them, I admitted the changes to the spaghetti and they both got up and made themselves ramen noodles. All while making several comments about how "they don't wanna go on a diet just because I am".
WORD TO THE WISE...IT IS HARD TO CHANGE UP MEAL PLANS ON TEENAGERS.
Joe ate the dinner, but I was a tad bit heavy handed with the italian seasoning with cracked red pepper in it, so it was HOT. I got lectured on how I would have an ulcer before I'm 35 if I don't learn how to lay off the spicy stuff. ;) I love you joe. I'll make your food extra bland next time. :P'
So I'm logging in my meals, water etc on myfitnesspal app, and the calories from the wheat pasta and stuff was not very reassuring to me, but I know I didn't eat a full CUP of just the pasta (400 calories) I literally measured 1 cup of the meat/pasta/sauce already mixed up. So maybe I could sleep that night if I kept telling myself that. :( No workout was done...and I feel super guilty about it so I will be doing two workouts today.
Day 9 is here and it is raining and COLD now. So I shall once again have to keep myself occupied INSIDE. I need a treadmill, or a bicycle. Oh a bike would be awesome. I could watch tv and go long distances :D Well, I'm off to drink the fiber drink this morning. Have a good one!!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Cheeseburger, Macaroni, Pasta...
No. I didn't cave I swear.
Day 7 was my first full day of "routine" with my family around me to see what I do to keep myself in line.
I do have a daily ritual that keeps me from getting lazy and laying in bed and watching reruns all day and thus far it has helped.
Usually I get up, mix my spark and take my probiotic and wait 30 minutes. During that 30 I clean the kitchen. That gets the blood pumping definately cleaning up after a family of 4. After that I make my breakfast, and type my blog as I eat.
In two days my ritual will definately have to change. You see, this phase was called the cleanse phase (for obvious reasons) consisted of fiber drink, fiber pills and limited carbs.
The next phase is max phase, and the only thing I can attribut to that is the MAXIMUM amount of pills I will ever take in my life ingested before one meal. Its definately going to take me about 3 bottles of water just to take those pills but I am excited about the next phase. All except I'll miss breakfast...meal replacement shakes will substitute the food in the morning.
You like the title of the blog? Ha. People think words trigger cravings.
uh..NO.
Smells trigger cravings. You wanna know what Joe ate yesterday!?!!?!?!??
Yup. See...I can look at that image all day long and it not phase me. But I swear to all that is holy when I smell the fries... I want to choke people to get to them.
That's just the fat girl addiction creeping in.
I was good. I walked away from him after the drive home (I made him close the bag in the car) and I ate my lunch in a seperate room.
I was good.
We went to joe's cousin's house last night and had dinner with his wife and a couple of their friends. We had chili and it was definately WONDERFUL and advocare friendly and I loved it. Had a blast laughing (which I can never get enough of) and it was wonderful to get out of the house and put on makeup!! Yes..I, shelly, got to do my hair AND put on makeup. Stellar day!
Day 8 is here, and so is the fiber drink.... Two more days of the cleanse phase to go baby!! I feel awesome and ready for my weigh in on day 11 :D
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Wow! Day 6 was emotional but day 7 is here!! Wow!
I must say yesterday was met with some mood swings I tell ya.
This is not a fad diet. This is an overhaul. A deprogramming of sorts to teach me that I don't have to have macaroni with a meat or potato with a meat every single night. Its not a diet it is a lifestyle change.
That being said, I struggle a bit because I loathe veggies. Yes. I, a grown woman hates vegetables with a passion and cringe at a plate of peas like a 5 year old kid. My mom told me that she would make me sit and wait until my veggies were eaten before I could get up from dinner table. Ha. I would win. I would never ever eat them. So she gave up. Instead of trying to blend up the veggies somehow or fight me..she'd cave.
I did the same with mine, they would refuse..and I'd cave. Time to stop the vicious cycle. SO I will have to blend the veggies and hide it in the food for my kids at 14. and for myself...HAHAHAH ;)
I may have made something wrong again last night because it was positively divine....
I made my own homemade italian gravy (tomato sauce)
Yes. I stewed tomatoes, and added paste, and onions and bell peppers and all that jazz.. :D I am a regular betty freakin crocker!!
Paired that with 1/2 cup of WHEAT PASTA (don't gag..if you boil it long enough you can't tell the difference) and 10 small shrimp, sauteed in olive oil and gourmet burger seasoning..
HOLY COW!!!! It was phenominal. And I have a whole pot of sauce to garnish stuff with for the next few days.
My energy is amazing. I worked out yesterday evening instead of around 2 and the difference was noticeable. Maybe I can start doing 2 a day workouts soon. My knee hinders me alot, but I can manage the pain to an extent.
I did find a wonderful place to shop that has more than one type of lettuce, and several types of tomatoes and a WHOLE RACK dedicated to ground turkey. SCORE! But I will have to drive 35 miles to get there but I do not care. I bought ground turkey, ground turkey burgers seasoned with italian seasoning, and shrimp. So that will be my staple food for the week until I run out of course... But I must say... ground turkey is pretty good!! I was told last night that bread better enter this house soon. (love you joe...I swear i'll make you a hamburger with meat and bread).
Feeling good on day 7!!!! Off to make breakfast.
This is not a fad diet. This is an overhaul. A deprogramming of sorts to teach me that I don't have to have macaroni with a meat or potato with a meat every single night. Its not a diet it is a lifestyle change.
That being said, I struggle a bit because I loathe veggies. Yes. I, a grown woman hates vegetables with a passion and cringe at a plate of peas like a 5 year old kid. My mom told me that she would make me sit and wait until my veggies were eaten before I could get up from dinner table. Ha. I would win. I would never ever eat them. So she gave up. Instead of trying to blend up the veggies somehow or fight me..she'd cave.
I did the same with mine, they would refuse..and I'd cave. Time to stop the vicious cycle. SO I will have to blend the veggies and hide it in the food for my kids at 14. and for myself...HAHAHAH ;)
I may have made something wrong again last night because it was positively divine....
I made my own homemade italian gravy (tomato sauce)
Yes. I stewed tomatoes, and added paste, and onions and bell peppers and all that jazz.. :D I am a regular betty freakin crocker!!
Paired that with 1/2 cup of WHEAT PASTA (don't gag..if you boil it long enough you can't tell the difference) and 10 small shrimp, sauteed in olive oil and gourmet burger seasoning..
HOLY COW!!!! It was phenominal. And I have a whole pot of sauce to garnish stuff with for the next few days.
My energy is amazing. I worked out yesterday evening instead of around 2 and the difference was noticeable. Maybe I can start doing 2 a day workouts soon. My knee hinders me alot, but I can manage the pain to an extent.
I did find a wonderful place to shop that has more than one type of lettuce, and several types of tomatoes and a WHOLE RACK dedicated to ground turkey. SCORE! But I will have to drive 35 miles to get there but I do not care. I bought ground turkey, ground turkey burgers seasoned with italian seasoning, and shrimp. So that will be my staple food for the week until I run out of course... But I must say... ground turkey is pretty good!! I was told last night that bread better enter this house soon. (love you joe...I swear i'll make you a hamburger with meat and bread).
Feeling good on day 7!!!! Off to make breakfast.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Doubt is creeping in....
I really guess I should get the hell off of the internet.
You know that one friend we all have, who self diagnoses themselves on webmd.com all the time and thinks that they know everything because they read it on the internet?
I've been researching more recipes, bc if it sounds yummy, chances are I can't have it. I began looking at some of the blogs that other people have done about the challenge that I am on and lets just say I am all kinds of discouraged.
"OMG I GOT DONE WITH THE CHALLENGE AND I LOST 2 LBS AND 2 WHOLE INCHES OFF MY WAIST"
uh...yay?
That, is not the kind of results I am looking for...
" I COMPLETED THE CHALLENGE AND I AM PROUD TO SAY I WENT FROM A SIZE 6 TO A SIZE 2. I AM SO HAPPY"
Happy? Eat a hamburger you crazy bitch.
These women think they are fat? I wonder what the hell people call me then....
I'm gonna go cry for a bit while I roast tomatoes for my shrimp. . . . .
You know that one friend we all have, who self diagnoses themselves on webmd.com all the time and thinks that they know everything because they read it on the internet?
I've been researching more recipes, bc if it sounds yummy, chances are I can't have it. I began looking at some of the blogs that other people have done about the challenge that I am on and lets just say I am all kinds of discouraged.
"OMG I GOT DONE WITH THE CHALLENGE AND I LOST 2 LBS AND 2 WHOLE INCHES OFF MY WAIST"
uh...yay?
That, is not the kind of results I am looking for...
" I COMPLETED THE CHALLENGE AND I AM PROUD TO SAY I WENT FROM A SIZE 6 TO A SIZE 2. I AM SO HAPPY"
Happy? Eat a hamburger you crazy bitch.
These women think they are fat? I wonder what the hell people call me then....
I'm gonna go cry for a bit while I roast tomatoes for my shrimp. . . . .
Moody. Moody moody.
Whoever said that fast food isn't an addiction has never ridden in the car with your kids eating breakfast from McDonald's.
Omg. I wanted to stick my head out the window!!! Must admit. It smelled really good. Did I cave? NO.
Oh crap. I have to feed the hash browns left in the car to the dogs.
Day 6 and I have officially gone through 48 bottled waters since Sunday. I have to go today and buy some more. Maybe i will even find some of the elusive GROuND TuRKEY.... I'm going to walmart yo...
Yesterday was uneventful. Dinner consisted of what I like to call fish jerky.
What is fish jerky!?
It's when you don't know how to bake tilapia and it gets cooked so hard it's jerky. Yup. So I had fish and salad. Boring to say the least. I went a little crazy on he blackened seasoning and I lost feeling in my lips but hey...when ya can't flavor with butter or Parmesan or something you get a little desperate with the seasoning. Ha.
Worked out twice yesterday. Two 15 minute intervals. Yeah hush. Working my way up to longer but it is quite boring song choices on just dance 3 workout. :(
Gonna finish my spark and make some breakfast and head out this morning. You all have a good one :) day 6 is here. Still going strong!!
Omg. I wanted to stick my head out the window!!! Must admit. It smelled really good. Did I cave? NO.
Oh crap. I have to feed the hash browns left in the car to the dogs.
Day 6 and I have officially gone through 48 bottled waters since Sunday. I have to go today and buy some more. Maybe i will even find some of the elusive GROuND TuRKEY.... I'm going to walmart yo...
Yesterday was uneventful. Dinner consisted of what I like to call fish jerky.
What is fish jerky!?
It's when you don't know how to bake tilapia and it gets cooked so hard it's jerky. Yup. So I had fish and salad. Boring to say the least. I went a little crazy on he blackened seasoning and I lost feeling in my lips but hey...when ya can't flavor with butter or Parmesan or something you get a little desperate with the seasoning. Ha.
Worked out twice yesterday. Two 15 minute intervals. Yeah hush. Working my way up to longer but it is quite boring song choices on just dance 3 workout. :(
Gonna finish my spark and make some breakfast and head out this morning. You all have a good one :) day 6 is here. Still going strong!!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Fat. Woman. Can't. WHAT!??!
Do people think I am DEAF??
I just went to our local DG and there were NO buggies outside. So me being ambitious I thought I would just carry the few things I needed to the front. So I go straight to the back and grab a 24 lb box of cat litter, feeling my wheaties I grabbed two boxes of catfood, and a thing of mixed nuts. Whew. I thought I was doing good!
Crap. Forgot the dog food!!
15 lb bag. Shit.
I got about ten steps and I lost my hold on the dog food and it hits the floor. So I began to move it with my feet, to the front register.
What?? I couldn't carry all of that!!
I laughed and nervously tried to play it cool and then a woman who was with another skinny bitch laughed and walked past me. I had stopped a few steps forward and shifted hands from the cat litter bc the handle felt like it was cutting through my hand. The skinny bitches were on the next aisle and I heard her say "fat bitch can't even carry a bag of dog food".
I swear to you I almost threw the 24 lb box of cat litter OVER the 8 ft shelf.
Not wanting to "catch a charge" I continued up front.
Moral of the story?
Fat bitches can hear, fat bitches can carry stuff, fat bitches do have feelings... but most importantly fat bitches remember who says shit like that.
I just went to our local DG and there were NO buggies outside. So me being ambitious I thought I would just carry the few things I needed to the front. So I go straight to the back and grab a 24 lb box of cat litter, feeling my wheaties I grabbed two boxes of catfood, and a thing of mixed nuts. Whew. I thought I was doing good!
Crap. Forgot the dog food!!
15 lb bag. Shit.
I got about ten steps and I lost my hold on the dog food and it hits the floor. So I began to move it with my feet, to the front register.
What?? I couldn't carry all of that!!
I laughed and nervously tried to play it cool and then a woman who was with another skinny bitch laughed and walked past me. I had stopped a few steps forward and shifted hands from the cat litter bc the handle felt like it was cutting through my hand. The skinny bitches were on the next aisle and I heard her say "fat bitch can't even carry a bag of dog food".
I swear to you I almost threw the 24 lb box of cat litter OVER the 8 ft shelf.
Not wanting to "catch a charge" I continued up front.
Moral of the story?
Fat bitches can hear, fat bitches can carry stuff, fat bitches do have feelings... but most importantly fat bitches remember who says shit like that.
WOOP WOOP!!
Another wonderful glorious morning!!
Eh that just doesn't seem like me does it?? Well...its the new me. I feel SO much better. Now I know that eating something comfort food related just triggers something in the brain that is in the warm and oh so fuzzy categories..but I feel wonderful after these last 4 days!
Don't think I am not still trying to figure out a way to make one of my normal foods with the "friendly" foods.... I am scheming...gumbo shall be made very soon...
AS SOON AS MY LOCAL STORE STARTS CARRYING SHRIMP....
I guess I am going to have to commute to grocery shop. This is getting depressing.
Ahem.
I have lost 5 pounds.
Yay!!!!
I won't get back on the scale until the morning of day 11. I was supposed to NOT weigh myself until then but I was feeling so down and out this morning. You see, I forgot to drink my second SPARK yesterday afternoon, and by the time I realized it...it was 4:45. I thought "eh..I'llbe ok" HA. By the time 5:45 rolled around I was looking for anything and everything to eat.
I was good....I was told I was good. I ate 5 mini pickles. Someone said those are negative calories so I was ok. LOL.
My new jeans that I had ordered a few weeks ago, along with a snazzy new pair of tan suede knee high boots came in yesterday.
Yeah. Boots to wear with the skinny jeans that blewout on me saturday night. Sigh. So the new jeans were what they called "skinny flare jeans" Yeah. Bellbottoms. I swear to everything the lower part of the jean I can fit my big ole THIGH in. But nonetheless they are jeans, and I need pants that aren't classified as MOM JEANS. They looked HUGE as I held them up out of the box. I thought "now these may be too big" I had ordered a size 26. Some 26's are huge on me..some aren't.
These aren't. I had to inhale to get em zipped. Boo.
:( I reckon I can gear my weight loss from my ease to zip these bastards because they are snug. NOT TIGHT..but super snug. I am so ready to say that I went down ... size and I feel great! I may just lose inches and keep my pants size. I'm figuring that is what is going to happen because I have what I like to affectionately call "THE BAZOOKA ASS". I have a big ole badonkadonk and it will never go away. Family curse of sorts. When I lost 100 lbs in college (all in 8 months) I never lost the booty, or my horrible arms. So I must work to get those away.
On a business note, my sessions are about to start going again, and I have two weddings tentatively on the books. I am super excited but I know that I will have to work twice as hard with my business this year. Every year a new crop of momtographers come out, brandishing their christmas gifted rebels and descends upon the area...the riverwalk with wreckless abandon...
HAHAHAH!!! We all have to start small right?? Thats just like with weight loss. Baby steps. Ya can't come out the gate expecting to book a huge wedding and tons of sessions.. small steps. I'm not going to lose 50 lbs in the 24 day challenge. I'll be happy with 20. Probably be satisfied with 15. I just know that this is the first step... to changing my life for the better.
Eh that just doesn't seem like me does it?? Well...its the new me. I feel SO much better. Now I know that eating something comfort food related just triggers something in the brain that is in the warm and oh so fuzzy categories..but I feel wonderful after these last 4 days!
Don't think I am not still trying to figure out a way to make one of my normal foods with the "friendly" foods.... I am scheming...gumbo shall be made very soon...
AS SOON AS MY LOCAL STORE STARTS CARRYING SHRIMP....
I guess I am going to have to commute to grocery shop. This is getting depressing.
Ahem.
I have lost 5 pounds.
Yay!!!!
I won't get back on the scale until the morning of day 11. I was supposed to NOT weigh myself until then but I was feeling so down and out this morning. You see, I forgot to drink my second SPARK yesterday afternoon, and by the time I realized it...it was 4:45. I thought "eh..I'llbe ok" HA. By the time 5:45 rolled around I was looking for anything and everything to eat.
I was good....I was told I was good. I ate 5 mini pickles. Someone said those are negative calories so I was ok. LOL.
My new jeans that I had ordered a few weeks ago, along with a snazzy new pair of tan suede knee high boots came in yesterday.
Yeah. Boots to wear with the skinny jeans that blewout on me saturday night. Sigh. So the new jeans were what they called "skinny flare jeans" Yeah. Bellbottoms. I swear to everything the lower part of the jean I can fit my big ole THIGH in. But nonetheless they are jeans, and I need pants that aren't classified as MOM JEANS. They looked HUGE as I held them up out of the box. I thought "now these may be too big" I had ordered a size 26. Some 26's are huge on me..some aren't.
These aren't. I had to inhale to get em zipped. Boo.
:( I reckon I can gear my weight loss from my ease to zip these bastards because they are snug. NOT TIGHT..but super snug. I am so ready to say that I went down ... size and I feel great! I may just lose inches and keep my pants size. I'm figuring that is what is going to happen because I have what I like to affectionately call "THE BAZOOKA ASS". I have a big ole badonkadonk and it will never go away. Family curse of sorts. When I lost 100 lbs in college (all in 8 months) I never lost the booty, or my horrible arms. So I must work to get those away.
On a business note, my sessions are about to start going again, and I have two weddings tentatively on the books. I am super excited but I know that I will have to work twice as hard with my business this year. Every year a new crop of momtographers come out, brandishing their christmas gifted rebels and descends upon the area...the riverwalk with wreckless abandon...
HAHAHAH!!! We all have to start small right?? Thats just like with weight loss. Baby steps. Ya can't come out the gate expecting to book a huge wedding and tons of sessions.. small steps. I'm not going to lose 50 lbs in the 24 day challenge. I'll be happy with 20. Probably be satisfied with 15. I just know that this is the first step... to changing my life for the better.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
All I want...is some DAMN GROUND TURKEY is that too much to ask?
You ever had a day when you just couldn't process information?
These last couple of days I swear I will read and read and read things and I just end up messaging my two go to gals for advocare information.
I feel like that girl...from mean girls...
You all remember mean girls....RIGHT??
I keep asking them.
Can I have pickles?
yes
Can I have cream of chicken soup?
NO
Can I have gravy?
NO
Is butter a carb? YES. lol. I just feel as if I am asking wayyyy too many questions and not processing the information correctly.
I think I had my AH HA!~ moment last night though. So I'll be good.
Oh..ONE MORE QUESTION..
Can I have wheat pasta??
Oh. Note to self. Next time at walmart, buy ALL of the ground turkey you see bc these gals in this town are snatching all of it up and obviously nobody grounds it in house..ya gotta get it from butterball...
These last couple of days I swear I will read and read and read things and I just end up messaging my two go to gals for advocare information.
I feel like that girl...from mean girls...
You all remember mean girls....RIGHT??
I keep asking them.
Can I have pickles?
yes
Can I have cream of chicken soup?
NO
Can I have gravy?
NO
Is butter a carb? YES. lol. I just feel as if I am asking wayyyy too many questions and not processing the information correctly.
I think I had my AH HA!~ moment last night though. So I'll be good.
Oh..ONE MORE QUESTION..
Can I have wheat pasta??
Oh. Note to self. Next time at walmart, buy ALL of the ground turkey you see bc these gals in this town are snatching all of it up and obviously nobody grounds it in house..ya gotta get it from butterball...
Gallon of water a day....glug...glug...glug
Don't get me wrong. I feel awesome.
I feel as if I have never smoked, and have lost 20 lbs already I feel so good.
But man...a GALLON of water a day? What ever happened to 8 glasses of water a day?
I have done extremely well considering I used to drink 4 soft drinks a day and I haven't had not ONE since saturday evening and I haven't even wanted one. But I literally have had a bottle of water strapped to my hip since day one.
I find the easiest trick is to lay out the 7 bottles of water that I'm supposed to drink so I can just walk by the kitchen table and grab one. When they are gone, I know I'll be floating away.
On a better note...my kidneys work.....
I feel as if I have never smoked, and have lost 20 lbs already I feel so good.
But man...a GALLON of water a day? What ever happened to 8 glasses of water a day?
I have done extremely well considering I used to drink 4 soft drinks a day and I haven't had not ONE since saturday evening and I haven't even wanted one. But I literally have had a bottle of water strapped to my hip since day one.
I find the easiest trick is to lay out the 7 bottles of water that I'm supposed to drink so I can just walk by the kitchen table and grab one. When they are gone, I know I'll be floating away.
On a better note...my kidneys work.....
Good Morning! Better mood today thank goodness!
Hey guys :) Its officially day 4 and I am feeling wonderful!!
I didn't have to drink the fiber drink this morning!! (insert hallelujah chorus here)
Yesterday was a good day challenge wise. I stayed on point and ate more of the dirt lettuce for lunch and then I realized...I was to the middle of the lettuce head..which is all kinds of nasty. So I tossed it away and got ready to go to the store.
Yeah. I still have no pants. Crap.
So I start digging around in my closet and I find a pair of high waisted "mom jeans" someone had given me. Man. Tapered ankle and a high waist. Thank goodness this was only a run to the store. ...
I had found a recipe for a cleanse phase friendly taco salad that I really wanted to try and I headed to the good ole save mor with my list in hand.
THEY WERE OUT OF GROUND TURKEY!!!!!!
You may as well have shot my dog. I was heartbroken and baffled. What the hell was I going to eat?!?~ With a HUGE pout on my face I walked round, and around and around the store looking for things I could have (wheat flour is nonexhistent in vernon btw) I settled on getting taco stuff for the family and I figured I'd find a way to dress up the chicken breast strips I had in the freezer at home.
So I begin making TWO SEPERATE DINNERS (which is gonna stop...very soon)
Let me just jot down what I used, and what I did since a couple folks would like to see what I made last night. I didn't take a picture of it, a) I was super hungry and ate it before snapping b) my iphone camera SUCKS.
Shelly's Chicken Whatever Stuff :D
1 roma tomato diced
1/2 green bell pepper (if you like bell pepper use the whole thing)
1 small yellow onion
1/2 cup of BROWN RICE
2 small chicken tenderloin skinless boneless
2 tsp of taco seasoning (like out of the packet)
BEAR IN MIND THIS IS FOR ONE...IF U WANNA COOK FOR FAMILY BY ALL MEANS USE MORE THAN ONE TOMATO.
On the challenge we can't use heavy creams, syrups, butter, or dressings so the tomato makes a juice and it compliments the stuff well.
I baked the chicken ( I covered it in tony chacheres seasoning bc I SO didn't want bland chicken that night)
Once the chicken was done, I scooped out 1/2 cup of the brown rice I had already made and set those to the side.
Cover a non stick pan in Pam, and drop the diced items into the pan. Like a stir fry. Let it reduce a bit and then add the chicken and the taco seasoning and toss around some more. Lastly add the rice and then VOILA!!
Since I can't have tortilla's or cheese or the chips, I wrapped a spoonful of the mixture in a lettuce leaf and MAN!! I thought I had made something I couldn't have bc it tasted so good :) I was so scared that I'd eat too much so I only ate about 4 spoonfuls with lettuce pieces and I put it away. I did good :)
I don't know how many calories, etc that it had but it was so filling that it had to have been something. But then again I haven't SEEN rice in a few days so my body was probably like YES!~ heehee.
I woke up this morning feeling great and ready for day 4. It is a gloomy day outside so I am going to try and keep myself busy inside but if I feel better as this goes I am super excited.
Oh. I can have pickles.
SCORE~~
I didn't have to drink the fiber drink this morning!! (insert hallelujah chorus here)
Yesterday was a good day challenge wise. I stayed on point and ate more of the dirt lettuce for lunch and then I realized...I was to the middle of the lettuce head..which is all kinds of nasty. So I tossed it away and got ready to go to the store.
Yeah. I still have no pants. Crap.
So I start digging around in my closet and I find a pair of high waisted "mom jeans" someone had given me. Man. Tapered ankle and a high waist. Thank goodness this was only a run to the store. ...
I had found a recipe for a cleanse phase friendly taco salad that I really wanted to try and I headed to the good ole save mor with my list in hand.
THEY WERE OUT OF GROUND TURKEY!!!!!!
You may as well have shot my dog. I was heartbroken and baffled. What the hell was I going to eat?!?~ With a HUGE pout on my face I walked round, and around and around the store looking for things I could have (wheat flour is nonexhistent in vernon btw) I settled on getting taco stuff for the family and I figured I'd find a way to dress up the chicken breast strips I had in the freezer at home.
So I begin making TWO SEPERATE DINNERS (which is gonna stop...very soon)
Let me just jot down what I used, and what I did since a couple folks would like to see what I made last night. I didn't take a picture of it, a) I was super hungry and ate it before snapping b) my iphone camera SUCKS.
Shelly's Chicken Whatever Stuff :D
1 roma tomato diced
1/2 green bell pepper (if you like bell pepper use the whole thing)
1 small yellow onion
1/2 cup of BROWN RICE
2 small chicken tenderloin skinless boneless
2 tsp of taco seasoning (like out of the packet)
BEAR IN MIND THIS IS FOR ONE...IF U WANNA COOK FOR FAMILY BY ALL MEANS USE MORE THAN ONE TOMATO.
On the challenge we can't use heavy creams, syrups, butter, or dressings so the tomato makes a juice and it compliments the stuff well.
I baked the chicken ( I covered it in tony chacheres seasoning bc I SO didn't want bland chicken that night)
Once the chicken was done, I scooped out 1/2 cup of the brown rice I had already made and set those to the side.
Cover a non stick pan in Pam, and drop the diced items into the pan. Like a stir fry. Let it reduce a bit and then add the chicken and the taco seasoning and toss around some more. Lastly add the rice and then VOILA!!
Since I can't have tortilla's or cheese or the chips, I wrapped a spoonful of the mixture in a lettuce leaf and MAN!! I thought I had made something I couldn't have bc it tasted so good :) I was so scared that I'd eat too much so I only ate about 4 spoonfuls with lettuce pieces and I put it away. I did good :)
I don't know how many calories, etc that it had but it was so filling that it had to have been something. But then again I haven't SEEN rice in a few days so my body was probably like YES!~ heehee.
I woke up this morning feeling great and ready for day 4. It is a gloomy day outside so I am going to try and keep myself busy inside but if I feel better as this goes I am super excited.
Oh. I can have pickles.
SCORE~~
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Just a little tidbit of info
Just dance 3 has a workout function.
I think my cats were laughing at me yesterday when I was doing the Beyonce/Shakira belly dancing song.
carry on.
I think my cats were laughing at me yesterday when I was doing the Beyonce/Shakira belly dancing song.
carry on.
Day 3 is upon us. I'm ready to slap someone.
Day 2 was pretty uneventful. I guess I can spare those who read this the details of what I ate, blah blah blah but man I am seriously getting tired of salad.
Last night, I thought the lettuce tasted like dirt.
DIRT??
Same lettuce I've been eating for a couple of days... I just see what's happening. Boredom. Monotony. My fat body calling out for carbs.
Yup. I wonder when the dreams of french fries will come...
Being fat really sucks.
Being addicted to fast food sucks pretty bad too.
Having to feed your family that is used to pretty carb laden food sucks the MOST.
Wanna know what my family ate last night? (only bc I dind't have anything else to cook...one income family tends to get a little hungry sometimes)
Gravy Peppersteak and rice.
Wanna know what I ate?
Tilapia with roma tomato and bell pepper sautee. My own creation. Ugly as ALL GET OUT but it was satisfying.
The pills are getting easier to take, by the time I get used to it the cleanse phase will be over and the max phase will start. Which comes with a TON of pills to take. vitamins, supplements, fish oils..all kinds of things my body hasn't seen since I was 13. HA. Probably not even then. I was pretty much raised on the food that I cook now for my kids. So it is time to stop the cajun/southern food cycle of cook it in butter and cover it in gravy and get everyone on board. As soon as I go grocery shopping for the week.
Oh. Watched Bama stomp all over Notre Dame last night. Kindof funny. Kindof sad. Got tired of listening to my stomach growl bc I was hungry (yeah..I'm still fighting those demons) and went to sleep.
I am just starting day 3, so I will definately post a day after format but I will tell you. Day 3 was started with severe attitude, depression and feelings of wanting to cry.
eh. maybe its PMS...HAHAHA
Last night, I thought the lettuce tasted like dirt.
DIRT??
Same lettuce I've been eating for a couple of days... I just see what's happening. Boredom. Monotony. My fat body calling out for carbs.
Yup. I wonder when the dreams of french fries will come...
Being fat really sucks.
Being addicted to fast food sucks pretty bad too.
Having to feed your family that is used to pretty carb laden food sucks the MOST.
Wanna know what my family ate last night? (only bc I dind't have anything else to cook...one income family tends to get a little hungry sometimes)
Gravy Peppersteak and rice.
Wanna know what I ate?
Tilapia with roma tomato and bell pepper sautee. My own creation. Ugly as ALL GET OUT but it was satisfying.
The pills are getting easier to take, by the time I get used to it the cleanse phase will be over and the max phase will start. Which comes with a TON of pills to take. vitamins, supplements, fish oils..all kinds of things my body hasn't seen since I was 13. HA. Probably not even then. I was pretty much raised on the food that I cook now for my kids. So it is time to stop the cajun/southern food cycle of cook it in butter and cover it in gravy and get everyone on board. As soon as I go grocery shopping for the week.
Oh. Watched Bama stomp all over Notre Dame last night. Kindof funny. Kindof sad. Got tired of listening to my stomach growl bc I was hungry (yeah..I'm still fighting those demons) and went to sleep.
I am just starting day 3, so I will definately post a day after format but I will tell you. Day 3 was started with severe attitude, depression and feelings of wanting to cry.
eh. maybe its PMS...HAHAHA
Monday, January 7, 2013
Day 1
Advocare 24 day challenge.
Yesterday was a really good first day. I woke up with the sun, ready to face the world and start my challenge with guns blazing.
Yeah..right after I drink the fiber drink.
I've heard horror stories about this drink. Fiber and drink just don't go in a sentence together.
So I bought the last 4 containers of "simply orange" 13 oz bottles the store had, and had 9 oz measured out and cracked open the first fiber drink packet.
sawdust. Looked like straight up sawdust.
I knew better than to sniff it, bc it would have ALL BEEN OVER then. You see, I have what you would call a weak stomach....
So I remember the words of Haley P. "if you wanna lose the weight, you'll drink it like a champ" So I did just that.
I drank it all in one toss. I was elated!! Until my lovely daughter michaela made a weird face at me and the gagging noise.
I had to drink an entire bottle of water to fend off the nausea but I blame my daughter.
Eating six small meals a day is ALOT when you aren't used to eating but a couple times a day. I never once got hungry. I am pretty sure that I am going to get my fill of salads this week until I can go back to the store friday...but i can manage. Two sparks a day is WOONDDERRFFULL!! I've only drank one a day for a while but two a day is JUST THE TICKET!
My whole house is spotless.
The evening was a little harder..old habits are usually something fatty and starch ridden for dinner followed by lazy time in front of the tv. I ate my grilled chicken and salad while my family ate hamburger helper. They teased me with their hot fudge sundaes they HAD to have when we ran to town for peanuts for me.
Its ok Shelly. They shall go on the diet too as soon as grocery day comes. :D:D
Advocare 24 day challenge.
Yesterday was a really good first day. I woke up with the sun, ready to face the world and start my challenge with guns blazing.
Yeah..right after I drink the fiber drink.
I've heard horror stories about this drink. Fiber and drink just don't go in a sentence together.
So I bought the last 4 containers of "simply orange" 13 oz bottles the store had, and had 9 oz measured out and cracked open the first fiber drink packet.
sawdust. Looked like straight up sawdust.
I knew better than to sniff it, bc it would have ALL BEEN OVER then. You see, I have what you would call a weak stomach....
So I remember the words of Haley P. "if you wanna lose the weight, you'll drink it like a champ" So I did just that.
I drank it all in one toss. I was elated!! Until my lovely daughter michaela made a weird face at me and the gagging noise.
I had to drink an entire bottle of water to fend off the nausea but I blame my daughter.
Eating six small meals a day is ALOT when you aren't used to eating but a couple times a day. I never once got hungry. I am pretty sure that I am going to get my fill of salads this week until I can go back to the store friday...but i can manage. Two sparks a day is WOONDDERRFFULL!! I've only drank one a day for a while but two a day is JUST THE TICKET!
My whole house is spotless.
The evening was a little harder..old habits are usually something fatty and starch ridden for dinner followed by lazy time in front of the tv. I ate my grilled chicken and salad while my family ate hamburger helper. They teased me with their hot fudge sundaes they HAD to have when we ran to town for peanuts for me.
Its ok Shelly. They shall go on the diet too as soon as grocery day comes. :D:D
New Year, New Blog, New start!~
Well. I can honestly say that 2012 was wonderful. I got married to my best friend, had a wonderful PERFECT wedding (well, everything except the cake..more on that later), I quit smoking and I had a wonderfully busy year with my photography business.
Yes. I quit smoking. Ten whole months ago I put down the "coffin nails, cancer sticks" etc. and said goodbye to smelling like an ashtray and being a slave to nicotine. I thought that this was the perfect year.. until a few days after christmas I was sitting watching tv with my kids and my heart began beating SO HARD in my chest..it scared me. I couldn't get it to stop beating so hard.
It scared me.
Being a self employed individual means absolutely NO health benefits. My husbands insurance at his work is pitiful to say the least so there is really no need in even attempting to add myself to that...so I must self diagnose, and stay away from sick people. ALOT.
I began talking to a few friends of mine, who have been with Advocare for a few months. The results I have seen from so many people are amazing! Now most of the results I have seen are people who aren't MORBIDLY OBESE like myself...but it intrigued me. If it can help those ladies shed off a few lbs..maybe it can help me change my life??
So. I get all the info, and get the challenge :D I am SUPER STOKED. Upon reading the mass of information that comes with the challenge, I see that I must weigh..and measure myself...
I must WEIGH AND MEASURE MYSELF.
I do not own a scale. Or a measuring tape long enough to go around me!!
I begin to get pretty psyched out and not wanting to go forward with it anymore. I've dieted many times and I have always based my progress on my...clothes. Well... all of my clothes are big and loose now so I knew I had to go through with it.
I go and buy a scale that goes up to 350 and get home. Joe helps me and we measure *gasp* and then time for the good ole scale. I strip down to my skivvies, and step on. The little dial goes in circles on the screen for what seems forever and I glance down and it says ERR.
I weigh ERR.
Immediately the tears come, and I want to run and hide. But I knew I wasn't THAT big...so I stepped off and on a couple of times and finally a weight appears. But I wish it would have taken it back. Now, I am not the kind of girl who tells ANYONE my weight..just because I have always been the big chick who "doesn't look THAT big" or the "pretty in the face" girl.
~inhales~
I weigh 335 pounds.
It is time. Time for me to stop being a slave to food, and to overpriced UGLY plus sized clothes with Winnie the Pooh and flower prints.
I AM WOMAN!! I was ready to get started. With my new found empowerment I went to the store and stocked up on all of the things I could get for my 24 day challenge. I had my meal plan layed out, all the waters I could get that day and was ready for the next morning. YES!! Joe and his brother wanted to go out to eat that night, for the birthday dinner so I thought, OK...we'll go out to eat and then tomorrow I'll start my challenge. I put on my new knee high boots (special boots for larger ladies calf muscles..ie) and skinny jeans I had just bought for those boots (the most expensive jeans I have ever bought at $70) and my new shirt and we went to tuscaloosa to the shrimp basket.
My pants split while getting out of the car.
YES I SAID MY PANTS SPLIT AS I WAS GETTING OUT OF THE CAR.
Mortified wasn't the word. Did I mention they were the only pair of jeans I own?
So. With my pants split and my extra long sweater in the back I went and ate my last fried/french fry laden heart clogging meal.
I hate I lost my skinny jeans to my big ass...but I'll order another pair..after my 24 day challenge :D
Yes. I quit smoking. Ten whole months ago I put down the "coffin nails, cancer sticks" etc. and said goodbye to smelling like an ashtray and being a slave to nicotine. I thought that this was the perfect year.. until a few days after christmas I was sitting watching tv with my kids and my heart began beating SO HARD in my chest..it scared me. I couldn't get it to stop beating so hard.
It scared me.
Being a self employed individual means absolutely NO health benefits. My husbands insurance at his work is pitiful to say the least so there is really no need in even attempting to add myself to that...so I must self diagnose, and stay away from sick people. ALOT.
I began talking to a few friends of mine, who have been with Advocare for a few months. The results I have seen from so many people are amazing! Now most of the results I have seen are people who aren't MORBIDLY OBESE like myself...but it intrigued me. If it can help those ladies shed off a few lbs..maybe it can help me change my life??
So. I get all the info, and get the challenge :D I am SUPER STOKED. Upon reading the mass of information that comes with the challenge, I see that I must weigh..and measure myself...
I must WEIGH AND MEASURE MYSELF.
I do not own a scale. Or a measuring tape long enough to go around me!!
I begin to get pretty psyched out and not wanting to go forward with it anymore. I've dieted many times and I have always based my progress on my...clothes. Well... all of my clothes are big and loose now so I knew I had to go through with it.
I go and buy a scale that goes up to 350 and get home. Joe helps me and we measure *gasp* and then time for the good ole scale. I strip down to my skivvies, and step on. The little dial goes in circles on the screen for what seems forever and I glance down and it says ERR.
I weigh ERR.
Immediately the tears come, and I want to run and hide. But I knew I wasn't THAT big...so I stepped off and on a couple of times and finally a weight appears. But I wish it would have taken it back. Now, I am not the kind of girl who tells ANYONE my weight..just because I have always been the big chick who "doesn't look THAT big" or the "pretty in the face" girl.
~inhales~
I weigh 335 pounds.
It is time. Time for me to stop being a slave to food, and to overpriced UGLY plus sized clothes with Winnie the Pooh and flower prints.
I AM WOMAN!! I was ready to get started. With my new found empowerment I went to the store and stocked up on all of the things I could get for my 24 day challenge. I had my meal plan layed out, all the waters I could get that day and was ready for the next morning. YES!! Joe and his brother wanted to go out to eat that night, for the birthday dinner so I thought, OK...we'll go out to eat and then tomorrow I'll start my challenge. I put on my new knee high boots (special boots for larger ladies calf muscles..ie) and skinny jeans I had just bought for those boots (the most expensive jeans I have ever bought at $70) and my new shirt and we went to tuscaloosa to the shrimp basket.
My pants split while getting out of the car.
YES I SAID MY PANTS SPLIT AS I WAS GETTING OUT OF THE CAR.
Mortified wasn't the word. Did I mention they were the only pair of jeans I own?
So. With my pants split and my extra long sweater in the back I went and ate my last fried/french fry laden heart clogging meal.
I hate I lost my skinny jeans to my big ass...but I'll order another pair..after my 24 day challenge :D
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